Let me print!

2025-10-30

Rant ahead:

Two weeks ago I had to print some attendance sheets, since I'm a tutor for the parallel programming exercise at my university and the new semester just began.

I unpacked my printer¹, plugged in the power cord, put in some paper, waited half a minute for it to set up the WiFi, selected the printer on my laptop for printing, and printed some sheets. Easy, fast, and how it should be. That took like 5 minutes at most.

Now since some people registered while others unregistered, the sheets updated and I had to print new ones. So: unpack, power, paper, WiFi, select the printer and print? No, of course not. The ! light starts blinking.

I took the manual², found the specific section, and pressed the blinking ! button as it told me to. The printer prints, nice. Not my sheets, but a "fuck you" message from HP³. The printer isn't setup with their HP Smart app, it says. So when it can print this, why can't it print my stuff? Also: two weeks ago it surely was setup, but not now? Also, also: why do I even need an app for printing at all?

I can either wait for it to fix itself, unplug and replug the power and wait again, or "just" set it up in the app. Now, since last time the whole ordeal didn't even take 5 minutes, I thought that I could just print those right before leaving to the exercise. So, naturally I chose the last option.

So, sure. I open this app, which I unfortunately had to install for setting up the printer initially⁴, look for the printer and sure: there it is. With a message that it isn't set up. Funny.

When you click on it, it tells me to go back and click on "add printer" instead. Why isn't there a button, such that I don't have to go back? Or better yet, don't even require this app? Because HP.

Go back, click on the plus for adding a printer instead and... I'm not logged in. So of course you need, and I unfortunately have, an HP account. So clicking on login, it opens my browser, 15 second wait, only for it to load a page where I can enter my mail address.

Type it in and press continue, 10 second wait; Type my password, 10 second wait; Mistyped my password... So enter my mail again, 10 second wait; password, 10 second wait; Success!

Now we have a page that asks me to press the button such that I'm redirected back to the app. Why can't you automatically redirect me? Nobody knows⁵. Click on it, 10 second wait. And we're back in the app, 10 second wait.

Now again click the plus and it asks whether my printer is already connected to the WiFi. Sure it is. It finds the printer. I click on it and am back on the main page. No error code, no nothing. Try again: same. Unplug and replug the power cord of the printer⁶: same.

Since now I should really leave soon, I, as a last resort, try with the "no wifi" option. It can't even find the printer. Restart the printer: doesn't find it. I look into the manual and there is nothing there for removing a WiFi or connecting to a new one. And no, I don't want search for documentation on the HP site, since it's likely just as slow.

But now it's time to leave. Fortunately I have some prior sheets left, so only some people have to add their name manually.

But why for fucks sake:

• can I find the printer on my laptop and start a print job, and it doesn't error?
• can HP print their stuff with my printer, but not me?
• do I need an app on my phone to print?
• hasn't anybody tested their app?
• does their site take 10 seconds for loading a page my grandma could write?

PS: look at the URL.

edit(2025-11-05): I managed to set up the printer again. It only took three tries and half an hour.